Week 2 – Jeff Maness – February 18th, 2018
Whatever you practice before marriage is what you are preparing for in marriage. So much of our practice is focused on passion. The fun, exciting, exhilarating parts of a relationship. But passion while passion is powerful it doesn’t prepare you to face your problems in marriage.
It Takes Two – Preparation
Big Question: What should I be practicing before marriage?
Main Scripture: Song of Solomon 2:8-3:5
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Song of Solomon 2:8-9 8 Ah, I hear my lover coming! He is leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills. 9 My lover is like a swift gazelle or a young stag. Look, there he is behind the wall, looking through the window, peering into the room.
1. An increasing transparency
“The young man was eager to get closer to the woman. He wanted to know everything about her. He was looking through the windows of her heart, gazing through the lattice of her soul to discover her innermost thoughts, opinions, feelings and secrets.” Tommy Nelson
Connection
Clarification
Confession
What you share should be at the level of trust you have established between you, and trust takes time to build. – Tommy Nelson
2. An increasing trust
Song of Solomon 2:10-15 10 My lover said to me, “Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one! 11 Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone. 12 The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air. 13 The fig trees are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!” 14 My dove is hiding behind the rocks, behind an outcrop on the cliff. Let me see your face; let me hear your voice. For your voice is pleasant, and your face is lovely. (Say few words) 15 Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!
Selfishness
Disrespect
Proverbs 21:9 It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.
Proverbs 21:19 It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.
Proverbs 31:28b Her husband praises her.
1 Peter 3:7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
Unforgiveness
Song of Solomon 2:16 – 3:4 16 My lover is mine, and I am his. (Trust) He browses among the lilies. 17 Before the dawn breezes blow and the night shadows flee, return to me, my love, like a gazelle or a young stag on the rugged mountains. 1 One night as I lay in bed, I yearned for my lover. I yearned for him, but he did not come. 2 So I said to myself, “I will get up and roam the city, searching in all its streets and squares. I will search for the one I love.” So I searched everywhere but did not find him. 3 The watchmen stopped me as they made their rounds, and I asked, “Have you seen the one I love?” 4 Then scarcely had I left them when I found my love! I caught and held him tightly, then I brought him to my mother’s house, into my mother’s bed, where I had been conceived.
Song of Solomon 3:5 5 Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.
Passion will grow naturally in courtship. But so must restraint. The Bible treats desire as normal, expected, and good. But there is a divine time and place for it. — Tommy Nelson
3. An increasing transformation
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